I started reading "Fascinating Womanhood" three weeks ago, today I am only on page 94. I am taking my time, taking notes, making observations, soaking it all in.
I am reading through EVERYTHING, from the very first page to all those stories and testimonials that seem too good to be true. I'm taking this book like the doctor tells you to take antibiotics, take it til it's gone. That's the only way I will know if it really works.
When I started reading I began soaking up the stories of women like Mumtaz, wife of the Shah, Dora and Agnes in the story of David Copperfield and I tried to imitate what I thought they were like. I tried to be quiet and sweet, I made a special effort not to nag or criticize or complain. Then I tried being more affectionate and saying little sweet things I thought an "angelic" wife would say. I tried to become that "ideal woman" Helen Andelin talks about in chapter 2. I got some results, my husband returned the affection, he sometimes corrected his own mistakes and in those moments when there was a silence where I might normally say something nagging we were able to laugh about it because we both knew what I would have said. But for us this wasn't much of anything new. We have had our moments when things are really good between us, and we can laugh and kiss and hold hands, no problem. But I still wasn't FEELING that big change that I wanted. Granted this is only after about a week of reading and only the first two chapters at that!
Then I realized I hadn't done any of the assignments the way she gave them. So I went back to do that. The first one was to write down 25 things you like about yourself. In seeing that, I thought it would be really easy, like why would she even put something like that in there. But as I got passed 10 things my momentum started to slow and I was surprised that I had to really stop and think to finish the list. Then I had a terrible thought, how many other women would find this difficult to do. How many women wouldn't even be able to finish the list. I was saddened by this thought. But I also realized why she put this as the first assignment. The ideal woman from a man's point of view has a quality of INNER happiness, that is, being happy with yourself. We spend so much time focusing on the things we like and don't like in our spouses and in other people AND the things we DON'T like about ourselves, that we rarely stop and think about ourselves and take note of the things we do like. We should all do that periodically. Just stop and think about yourself for a while. Think about what you like about yourself. I put some physical characteristics like my hips and my lips, and character traits like my strength and flexibility, and I put personality traits like being a good friend. Whatever you like goes! This helps to reaffirm a sense of pride and self confidence which leads to inner happiness. If this doesn't come first, the whole process of becoming the ideal woman goes for naught.
The second part of that first assignment was to make an Angelic Human chart, which she illustrates in the book, and choose one quality that you lack, work on it for a week and note your husband's favorable reaction. I chose to work on the quality of being a domestic goddess. No favorable reactions yet, cause I'm still working on that one! =)
I am reading through EVERYTHING, from the very first page to all those stories and testimonials that seem too good to be true. I'm taking this book like the doctor tells you to take antibiotics, take it til it's gone. That's the only way I will know if it really works.
When I started reading I began soaking up the stories of women like Mumtaz, wife of the Shah, Dora and Agnes in the story of David Copperfield and I tried to imitate what I thought they were like. I tried to be quiet and sweet, I made a special effort not to nag or criticize or complain. Then I tried being more affectionate and saying little sweet things I thought an "angelic" wife would say. I tried to become that "ideal woman" Helen Andelin talks about in chapter 2. I got some results, my husband returned the affection, he sometimes corrected his own mistakes and in those moments when there was a silence where I might normally say something nagging we were able to laugh about it because we both knew what I would have said. But for us this wasn't much of anything new. We have had our moments when things are really good between us, and we can laugh and kiss and hold hands, no problem. But I still wasn't FEELING that big change that I wanted. Granted this is only after about a week of reading and only the first two chapters at that!
Then I realized I hadn't done any of the assignments the way she gave them. So I went back to do that. The first one was to write down 25 things you like about yourself. In seeing that, I thought it would be really easy, like why would she even put something like that in there. But as I got passed 10 things my momentum started to slow and I was surprised that I had to really stop and think to finish the list. Then I had a terrible thought, how many other women would find this difficult to do. How many women wouldn't even be able to finish the list. I was saddened by this thought. But I also realized why she put this as the first assignment. The ideal woman from a man's point of view has a quality of INNER happiness, that is, being happy with yourself. We spend so much time focusing on the things we like and don't like in our spouses and in other people AND the things we DON'T like about ourselves, that we rarely stop and think about ourselves and take note of the things we do like. We should all do that periodically. Just stop and think about yourself for a while. Think about what you like about yourself. I put some physical characteristics like my hips and my lips, and character traits like my strength and flexibility, and I put personality traits like being a good friend. Whatever you like goes! This helps to reaffirm a sense of pride and self confidence which leads to inner happiness. If this doesn't come first, the whole process of becoming the ideal woman goes for naught.
The second part of that first assignment was to make an Angelic Human chart, which she illustrates in the book, and choose one quality that you lack, work on it for a week and note your husband's favorable reaction. I chose to work on the quality of being a domestic goddess. No favorable reactions yet, cause I'm still working on that one! =)
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