Back to our nature

I think a conversation my husband and I had about love stories in movies got me energized enough to read this book. We were talking about the difference between black love and white love as portrayed in movies. I had watched all these different movies and noticed some significant differences. I could go into a lot of detail about that, but for now I will stick to the book.
The conclusion we came up with is, that black people, because of everything we have been through, have been thoroughly removed from our nature as a people. We have been reduced to playas, pimps, baby daddies and mamas, and marriage, love and relationships have been down played in our communities. We accept the fact that black women have a mouth on us, a fierce attitude and a neck roll to go with it. We accept the fact that our brothers are playas, like to "spit game" at women and don't really want committed relationships. But what does our nature say? Despite our condition, we have a nature that was put in us by God.

Everything in existence is created with a nature that determines its role in this world. A lion is still a lion at heart despite the fact that a lion tamer may come along and train it to do tricks. You press that lion enough and he will bite your head off, because that is his nature. Just like that lion, human beings have a nature in which we were created. A nature that was written by God/the Creator, to govern our lives and ensure our success. The key is  to realize that the way we are currently living today as a whole, is NOT in accord with our nature. This is why, as a whole, we have not been successful in our relationships. There is 50% divorce rate in America, of that, 32% are among black people. In addition to all the other trials of life, could these statics also be due to the fact that we are operating outside of our nature?

That is what got me to look more deeply into the things in the book that seemed too difficult to accept. Even though I didn't feel like I could pull off some things because it just wasn't my personality or I didn't think that's what MY husband, a BLACK man, really wanted, I thought about what is really in his nature. There are things in our natures as men and women that we don't even know are there. He may think he is content with one thing until I do something or say something that awakens a part of his nature and arouses him like never before (I don't mean sexually).

I am learning to trust the unknowns of our natures. I am learning to trust the fact that even though I have never said or done certain things for my husband, I have the ability to do them and do them well and I can gain fulfillment from doing these things for him, and ultimately for us. I am also learning to trust the fact that the things in this book ARE in fact things that my husband wants from me. Some of them he has expressed a desire for, others he never even knew he wanted.

I am learning to dismiss the previous examples of love I had once looked to,  like in movies and celebrities and couples around me, because unfortunately, there are few examples of us really living by our nature. Don't get me wrong, there are SOME real examples of love and marital bliss and success that I can and do still refer to, but I am putting MORE of my focus on MY husband and his needs and desires and what insights deeper feelings of love within him.