Here comes the challenge, accepting your man for who he is and how he is, to resist every urge to tell him what to do and how to do it, to keep yourself from nagging, fussing or arguing with him about his ways. This is where we tend to fall off the wagon ladies! In the book there is a story about a woman with an alcoholic husband. She eventually apologizes to him for trying to change him and accept that he is a good man and his disease is simply a flaw in character. That's a serious bullet to bite, I can't even imagine having to do that. I am eternally grateful that I don't have that particular issue. However, she gives some good suggestions on how to accept just about any issue you can think of.
So far, this chapter has been the hardest one for me. I was very young, and actually kind of scared when I got married. I convinced myself that I could do this because I wasn't going to let him make me miserable in this thing. I loved him, but it was so scary and unknown what I was getting into, straight out of high school, that I went on the offensive from the very beginning. I was afraid that I would be unhappy, so to ensure that I wasn't I went in trying to mold my new husband into someone who would never hurt or disappoint me. To read the chapter on accepting him was truly a wake up call, one that I most definitely needed but one that was still difficult to accept. I am having to reprogram my thinking now, to look at me more and accept him all the way. At the end of the chapter there a 7 rules for acceptance, throughout our marriage I had broken ALL of them.
Part 1 of the assignment in this chapter said list his faults HONESTLY, but not so you can gripe about them later, but so you will know what it is you will have to accept. (soooo tough!!!) I did that, it was kind of hard thinking of everything off the top of my head, some things I had to write down as they happened. Like, oh yeah, I hate it when he plays that stupid video game! But surprisingly, the list wasn't as long as I thought it would be, lol and I am putting forth a very sincere effort to accept these things. For now I just keep quiet, I try hard not say anything negative or nagging. I look at him and say to myself "these are apart of him, these little flaws. I have mine too so no sense in getting all upset about his". I'm hoping soon I won't have to talk to myself at all! (That's a work in progress)
I made a Love Booklet, part 3 of this assignment, to write down the loving things my husband does as I embark upon my journey into becoming a Fascinating Woman! I look forward to reading it back to him one day and smiling about it together.
The second part of the assignment is really, really hard for me. It is to say something like this to your husband: "I am glad you are the kind of man you are. I can see that I have not understood you in the past and that I've made many mistakes. But, I am glad that you have not allowed me to push you around. You have not been like putty in my hands, but have had the courage of your convictions. Will you forgive me for not understanding you, and let me prove to you that I can be a wonderful wife?"
Now if you are a woman reading this, raise your hand if there is even a slight chance that this would be hard for you to do. After thinking about all your disappointments and hurt feelings throughout the marriage, it might even be difficult if someone were asking you to apologize to each other. But to be the only who apologizes...sheesh! It feels like I might as well say "You are always right and everything you do is perfect. I am beneath you and I am now here to serve your every desire"!
But remember his nature, if you have a good man, he will know what to do with this and you won't have released any of your power as a woman, but you will have gained his trust and you will start the process of regaining his love.
I believed it, eventually, but it took me a lot longer to do it. More on that later.
So far, this chapter has been the hardest one for me. I was very young, and actually kind of scared when I got married. I convinced myself that I could do this because I wasn't going to let him make me miserable in this thing. I loved him, but it was so scary and unknown what I was getting into, straight out of high school, that I went on the offensive from the very beginning. I was afraid that I would be unhappy, so to ensure that I wasn't I went in trying to mold my new husband into someone who would never hurt or disappoint me. To read the chapter on accepting him was truly a wake up call, one that I most definitely needed but one that was still difficult to accept. I am having to reprogram my thinking now, to look at me more and accept him all the way. At the end of the chapter there a 7 rules for acceptance, throughout our marriage I had broken ALL of them.
Part 1 of the assignment in this chapter said list his faults HONESTLY, but not so you can gripe about them later, but so you will know what it is you will have to accept. (soooo tough!!!) I did that, it was kind of hard thinking of everything off the top of my head, some things I had to write down as they happened. Like, oh yeah, I hate it when he plays that stupid video game! But surprisingly, the list wasn't as long as I thought it would be, lol and I am putting forth a very sincere effort to accept these things. For now I just keep quiet, I try hard not say anything negative or nagging. I look at him and say to myself "these are apart of him, these little flaws. I have mine too so no sense in getting all upset about his". I'm hoping soon I won't have to talk to myself at all! (That's a work in progress)
I made a Love Booklet, part 3 of this assignment, to write down the loving things my husband does as I embark upon my journey into becoming a Fascinating Woman! I look forward to reading it back to him one day and smiling about it together.
The second part of the assignment is really, really hard for me. It is to say something like this to your husband: "I am glad you are the kind of man you are. I can see that I have not understood you in the past and that I've made many mistakes. But, I am glad that you have not allowed me to push you around. You have not been like putty in my hands, but have had the courage of your convictions. Will you forgive me for not understanding you, and let me prove to you that I can be a wonderful wife?"
Now if you are a woman reading this, raise your hand if there is even a slight chance that this would be hard for you to do. After thinking about all your disappointments and hurt feelings throughout the marriage, it might even be difficult if someone were asking you to apologize to each other. But to be the only who apologizes...sheesh! It feels like I might as well say "You are always right and everything you do is perfect. I am beneath you and I am now here to serve your every desire"!
But remember his nature, if you have a good man, he will know what to do with this and you won't have released any of your power as a woman, but you will have gained his trust and you will start the process of regaining his love.
I believed it, eventually, but it took me a lot longer to do it. More on that later.
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