This statement is not really the basis for my post today, I just came across it as I was thumbing through the book and I thought I'd share. It is actually one of the assignments from Chapter 6 "Make Him Number One". Just something to keep in mind.
Actually, I have gotten a lot of reading accomplished lately, I finally finished part 1 Angelic Qualities. The last chapter in that section is The Domestic Goddess and it was great! The idea of striving to be an accomplished homemaker was not foreign to me, however in the journey of life, you can never have too much knowledge and information and I really enjoyed reading what the author had to say on the matter.
One major theme in this section of the book focuses on the attitude we carry regarding housework.
She shares tips on how to find pleasure in what can often be the drudgery of keeping house. She implores women to take pride in the role of homemaker, and tries to impress upon her readers the importance of working at doing a good job rather than doing just enough to get by. She tries to help women realize that our place in the home is an honored one and is absolutely essential to the function, well-being and success of the entire family.
I can bear witness that at times, life can become so busy and crowded with outside activities and responsibilities that my home life suffers. Andelin writes, "I believe our natural instinct is to enjoy domestic work as little girls do (when they play house) and being crowded for time robs us of enjoyment...Ask yourself , 'What am I doing that is more important than doing domestic work and enjoying it?'" I will be the first to confess that I don't get excited at the thought of having to clean the bathroom, or wash the dishes after dinner or vacuum or any of that. I don't particularly enjoy housework in that sense. But, when I think about how important it is for these things to be done, I take pleasure in knowing that I am doing something good for my family (and I do enjoy marveling at the finished result).
The Honorable Minister Louis Farrkhan teaches us that home is a woman's base, and NOT necessarily her place. This is to say that the home is the launching pad for the woman and her family to prepare themselves to go out and conquer the world. Think of a rocket being launched into space and the work that it is destined to do, how important then is the vessel that houses that rocket until it is ready for take off. It must be kept, maintained, organized, strong and in top shape in order to get optimal results from the launch and the rocket itself. Think about how far the rocket goes when it is launched properly, amazing!
Andelin gives advice on meal preparation, organizing your home, decorating, cleaning and prioritizing, something that is crucial when you have a lengthy to-do list of responsibilities. One of the assignments at the end of the chapter is to list in order of importance, your six most essential responsibilities. She suggests you ask your husband and children for their ideas when creating this list, which I thought was a good idea. I never thought to ask them what they think are the most important things I do. It will be interesting to hear their responses.
One small section she writes in this chapter sort of intrigued me and started a spiral of thoughts and ideas in my head. It is the section on the Housedress. By housedress, she means a cotton, cute, ultra feminine dress comfortable enough for you to wear around the house, with an apron, as a sort of "uniform" when doing your daily tasks. She says it is an "identifying marker" of your role in the home, as "queen of the household".
Now initially I read this and scoffed at the idea of wearing this "suzy-homemaker" style dress and apron to do anything, let alone clean toilets and wash dishes. I laughed to myself thinking about a 1950s housewife trying to make it in a 2012 world, happily going about her chores as if nothing existed outside the walls of her own home. I also thought the idea of a uniform for being in the house was kind of funny. I enjoy the days when I can stay home because I can wear whatever and be comfortable. Then I thought about it some more, I wear a uniform when I train at the martial arts studio, I wear one when I go to the Mosque, I had a certain type of attire I wore when I taught in the classroom, so why should the idea of a particular home attire be so amusing to me when my job there is the most important one I have.
I also thought about what my husband would think if he came home and saw me in the kitchen in that little cotton dress and apron. Would he be impressed? Would he be intrigued and awed? Or would he laugh and ask what the heck I was doing?
The stereotypical image that kept popping into my head was a white suburban housewife in a poofy dress and apron dusting the fine china, and I did NOT want to be this woman. But then I thought, black women have an ancient history of being masters of homemaking. We have done it since the beginning of time, we have been forced to do it for others and we continue to do it while we pursue careers and education outside the home. So why not wear my apron proudly as a badge of honor for the work that I do for my family. In the least, I was enamored by the thoughts and questions that I had come up with and I decided that I would try it, if only to rest my curiosity.
I think I have one of those little cotton numbers somewhere in my closet (at least something similar) and I'm going to make myself a cute, and feminine apron to wear when I'm working around the house. I googled "aprons" and times sure have changed! There are some really unique styles out there that should make this a pretty fun and interesting experiment. Since this will be my "uniform" for the purpose of housekeeping, I won't have to worry about getting it dirty, it will be flirty and functional. ;-) Right now I clean the house in sweats and a t-shirt, so I guess anything else would be better! I should have some updates on this little experiment soon.
In summary, the qualities of a domestic goddess, according to the author are:
1. Does her job well, beyond the call of duty
2. Is a good manager of time and values
3. Adds feminine touches to her homemaking
4. Adds warmth to her household
5. Honors her role in the home
6. Is happy in her role, fulfilled
In reading this, I couldn't help but feel grateful for the teachings and wisdom of Master Fard Muhammad in giving to the women in Islam seven training units, which include, keeping house, rearing the children and taking care of our husbands. This book "Fascinating Womanhood" just bears witness to what I am already being taught.
Part of the assignment for this chapter is also to list your domestic strengths, then list your weaknesses and improve on them. I hope we all begin to look at our home lives with a little more regard and hold ourselves in higher esteem for the roles we play in the lives of our families.
I highly recommend creating/buying/wearing a uniform. On a personal note. As I, like many women, wear many hats throughout the day I was/am reluctant to change clothes numerous times throughout the day, so I found myself looking a hot mess too often because one of those tasks was/is turning our backyard into the Garden of Eden. My husband never complained but I just didn't feel right. I initially kept saying I was going to make myself a few outfits but that never happened so I settled on purchasing a few pairs of black sweats and black pants. This worked because it was much better than the rags I was wearing and economically it was better because I didn't need a whole bunch of anything to make the outfits look a lot more presentable. Much easier to mix and match. It was/is basic and a first step. I definitely know that I still need to make it more appealing and cute but this was an economical and a time saving step in the right direction. And once I get my wardrobe right I will be donning an apron on the regular.
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