I have to admit that I've been slipping on my reading lately. I have finished the first section of part one in the book, "Understanding Men". There is so much in these chapters I have been meditating on and trying out, that I'm almost reluctant to keep reading. I have slipped up on some occasions and gone back to old habits, but at the same time I have also made good progress on some things. It's like a two steps forward, one step back sort of thing.
I am working on maintaining a workable routine for household chores. When I am home I don't like to spend the entire time cooking and cleaning, so sometimes I have the house together by the time my husband gets home and sometimes I don't. I am working on giving him more compliments, I strive for at least one SINCERE compliment a day (sometimes it ends up being more like every couple days depending in the day =). Then I do it at unexpected times and he always seems so happily surprised. Also, I have pretty much cut out nagging, that was the easiest habit to break. I use my replacement tool for that, replace one negative thought about his actions with a positive one from something good he's done. And lastly I am working on how I talk to him and the language I use. I think about the effects what I say will have on him and on us.
So, now that I have all these things to work on for him, the next section in the book is "Inner Happiness". Although I was feeling a little reluctant to keep reading with so much to work on, I am excited to get through this section and enjoy some work on myself.
So far I have read chapter 15 in this section of the book, Andelin outlines seven ways to find your inner happiness:
Fulfilling your domestic role, developing character, giving service, doing creative work, accepting yourself, enjoying simple pleasures and the aquisition of knowledge and wisdom. Beautiful! She closes this chapter by saying "the love of a man is essential to a woman's happiness in a complete sense, but not to the inner happiness I refer to. In fact you must first find inner happiness before your husband can really love you. Men all over the country are turning from their wives to someone else because their wives are unhappy." Deep huh? And we thought we were unhappy BECAUSE they turned elsewhere. Remember the safety rules on an airplane, put your mask on first...if you're not breathing, you can't do anything for anybody else.
Since taking care of self is so important, when I got to this section in the book, it took me a while to understand why Andelin didn't put this section first. Then I realized that as wives, sometimes we take the "self first" mantra and run with it. So the section on understanding men is sort of a snap back to reality. A wake up call that says " hey, you're on the wrong road here, think about him too!". That first section helps you identify the problem areas in your marriage and shows you how to correct them. This is very beneficial, while you are working your own happiness you are mindful of your spouse and children and you won't do things to upset your home inadvertently.
So I'm looking forward to working on me...for me. It's good to know that all of the ways to gain inner happiness that she listed will ultimately have a positive affect on the whole family. In doing things to create your happiness, you won't have to feel guilty about neglecting anyone else.
I am working on maintaining a workable routine for household chores. When I am home I don't like to spend the entire time cooking and cleaning, so sometimes I have the house together by the time my husband gets home and sometimes I don't. I am working on giving him more compliments, I strive for at least one SINCERE compliment a day (sometimes it ends up being more like every couple days depending in the day =). Then I do it at unexpected times and he always seems so happily surprised. Also, I have pretty much cut out nagging, that was the easiest habit to break. I use my replacement tool for that, replace one negative thought about his actions with a positive one from something good he's done. And lastly I am working on how I talk to him and the language I use. I think about the effects what I say will have on him and on us.
So, now that I have all these things to work on for him, the next section in the book is "Inner Happiness". Although I was feeling a little reluctant to keep reading with so much to work on, I am excited to get through this section and enjoy some work on myself.
So far I have read chapter 15 in this section of the book, Andelin outlines seven ways to find your inner happiness:
Fulfilling your domestic role, developing character, giving service, doing creative work, accepting yourself, enjoying simple pleasures and the aquisition of knowledge and wisdom. Beautiful! She closes this chapter by saying "the love of a man is essential to a woman's happiness in a complete sense, but not to the inner happiness I refer to. In fact you must first find inner happiness before your husband can really love you. Men all over the country are turning from their wives to someone else because their wives are unhappy." Deep huh? And we thought we were unhappy BECAUSE they turned elsewhere. Remember the safety rules on an airplane, put your mask on first...if you're not breathing, you can't do anything for anybody else.
Since taking care of self is so important, when I got to this section in the book, it took me a while to understand why Andelin didn't put this section first. Then I realized that as wives, sometimes we take the "self first" mantra and run with it. So the section on understanding men is sort of a snap back to reality. A wake up call that says " hey, you're on the wrong road here, think about him too!". That first section helps you identify the problem areas in your marriage and shows you how to correct them. This is very beneficial, while you are working your own happiness you are mindful of your spouse and children and you won't do things to upset your home inadvertently.
So I'm looking forward to working on me...for me. It's good to know that all of the ways to gain inner happiness that she listed will ultimately have a positive affect on the whole family. In doing things to create your happiness, you won't have to feel guilty about neglecting anyone else.
The second part should be much easier. A lot of it focuses on femininity, which should come easier to us as MGT then breaking the old habits of section 1. :) Putting into practice is ongoing. I usually read it once a year because you are not going to master it all at once. Just be patient and keep on pushing forward.
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